Accepting Financial Limitations When You Can’t Afford Extracurricular Activities

According to an Ipsos poll conducted in 2018, one in three families is going into debt to fund their children’s extracurricular activities, including sports, community programs, and arts programs. The ability to afford extracurricular activities is a privilege not many can manage.

When my children were six, four, and one, I was just entering the world of extracurriculars. I’ve always been opposed to spending money on programming for preschool-aged children, but the time of ignoring extracurriculars was quickly ending for me.

Over summer I have been home with my three children, trying to find frugal ways to entertain them. A full two weeks of daily swimming lessons was one of the most affordable ways to get my kids active and busy for the morning.

Now that we’re entering into this new phase of extracurriculars, my (then) six-year-old, Penny, took an interest in athletics, particularly gymnastics. My husband was a competitive gymnast, and watching our daughter take on this passion was special for our family. We both agreed that a week of gymnastics camp would be a fun introduction to the sport and a perfect way to feed the bug.

Gymnastics is hardly an inexpensive extracurricular. As a family living on one income we are barely able to afford swimming lessons, so an elite sport is absolutely out of our budget. But thinking about my daughter and her newfound passion made me realize that I may not be able to give her the opportunities she wants.

What if my child loves a sport that we can’t afford? Am I willing to go into debt to feed my child’s passion? How does anyone afford extracurricular activities?

As a child, I didn’t compete in any sports. My mom was a single mother working weekends and evenings. She didn’t have the budget or the time to enroll me in extracurriculars.

The loss I feel over my own childhood has certainly spilled over into the way that I approach raising my children. I work from home because it offers the stability and presence that I felt like I missed out on. But I also overspend and overindulge my kids because of my own guilt over my frugal childhood.

I had a conversation with my husband, who was raised in an affluent household, about my fear that money will result in a lack of opportunity for our kids.

“Maybe I could have been an amazing athlete, but I’ll never know,” I said to my husband, tears in my eyes.

I felt grief over my own childhood and the opportunities that I felt I lost, and I was using that grief to feed an unrealistic expectation on myself as a parent.

My children have experienced an incredible childhood so far, from exploring all of the wonderful free events and festivals in our city, to visiting museums and our local library regularly. My husband and I are both active in our children’s lives, and we listen to their wants and their desires. We seek ways to find creative outlets for their passions.

We are entering a new stage, as our kids get older and start to develop real skills. Maybe we can’t afford to put our daughter in competitive gymnastics, but we can probably budget for her to take a weekly gymnastics class for one season each year. Not being able to afford extracurriculars and every single opportunity for our children doesn’t mean that they’re missing out, it just means that we may need to get creative to find ways for them to grow in their skills and chase after their passion.

Releasing the guilt and pressure I felt helped me to appreciate all that our children have, and also appreciate, what I received as a child.

I was a deeply loved child who may not have had every opportunity in the world, but I still managed to have a wonderful life.

And no, I’m not willing to go into debt so that my kids can play sports or chase their dreams, but that doesn’t mean I won’t help them chase their passions.