Parenting Problems… Avoiding Repeated Arguments

We keep having the same arguments with our kids over and over again… And with parenting, repeated arguments are the worst. Why? Why? Why?

Although, even if the daily fight (about mealtime, bedtime, bath, or screen time) is painful, at least we know how it turns out.

We step onto the dance floor, invite our child to dance, “Time for a bath, okay?” and he does his move, “I hate baths…”

And then, the tantrum.

Your turn: drag him to the tub or talk about it for 10 minutes before giving in.

Same dance every night. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Here are 4 tips fpr staying off the “dance floor” and avoiding repeated arguments…

4 Tips to Avoid Repeated Arguments with Your Kids:

1. Focus on your long-term family goal: Your child has a bath every night without a fight.
2. Decide how your child will have some control… Try moving bath time earlier when everyone is less tired or let them set a timer 10 minutes before bath so they tell you when it’s time for the bath, etc.
3. Set out exactly what is required at bath time and who will do each task. Tasks may include checking the water temperature, adding more hot or cold water, choosing the bath toys, choosing the facecloth, order of what gets washed, choosing the towel to use afterwards, etc.
4. Teach your child the new plan at a time nowhere near to bath time, when everyone is relaxed. For kids two and under, talk it through with them, using photos or drawings of the steps and make a book. For kids three and older, involve them in creating the written plan.

In either case, share a new “bathtime script” with your child. Create a new script for how bath time should ideally go. Explain what you will say to cue them and what their lines are too.

So the conversation should look kind of like this:

Child: “The timer means I have to get in the bath and then we can read books after I dry off.”
Or you: “The timer is ringing. What does that does mean?”

The important thing here is to immediately move into the new plan rather than worry if the dialogue has gone exactly as planned. ACT don’t YAK!

It is much easier to respond with respect when we know exactly what is expected, as well as how we will respond when it works and when it doesn’t.